Ice Disaster: A How To Guide

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Step 1: Only do this in Winter

Step 2: Wait for it to get so cold all nearby bodies of water are frozen. This is a MUST.

Step 3: Sit outside on the front steps bored out of your mind.

Step 4: Try to think of something to do.

Step 5: Remember it's really cold out so maybe there's ice somewhere.

Step 6: Decide you want to go ice skating.

Step 7: Pout a bit because you're nowhere near an ice skating rink and you mom definietly WON'T take you to one.

Step 8: Ponder how to get around this.

Step 9: Remember ice skating is basically sliding across the ice on shoes, which is totally doable.

Step 10: Think where ice could be.

Step 11: Remember the neighbors have two decent sized fish ponds that aurely are frozen over. Perfect for you needs.

Step 12: Spot a neighbor boy.

Step 13: Invite him along. Threaten if necessary.

Step 14: You both head next door.

Step 15: Notice no one is there.

Step 16: Head to the back gate.

Step 17: Open the gate and walk into their back yard.

Step 18: Beeline right for the larger frozen fish pond.

Step 19: Test the ice by putting pressure on the ice with one foot.

Step 20: Decide its safe.

Step 21: Step fully onto the ice

Step 22: Slide along the edge of the pond by shuffling your feet

Step 23: Switch to the smaller foot shaped pond to give neighbor boy his own pond to skate on

Step 24: Get bright idea to skate down the exact middle of the pond.

Step 25: Make way to the middle of the pond.

Step 26: Get halfway down the middle.

Step 27: Hear a loud crack.

Step 28: Fall through the ice.

Step 29: DO NOT PANIC! (important step here)

Step 30: kick off the bottom of the pond.

Step 31: Swim like mad to the surface.

Step 32: Scramble/swim to the edge of the pond.

Step 33: Get out of the pond with help from the neighbor boy.

Step 34: Make way back home.

Step 35: Say goodbyw to neighbor boy

Step 36: Slosh your way inside.

Step 37: Go into kitchen and tell your mom what happened.

Step 38: Get lectured while taking clothes off.

Step 39: Promise parents to go apologize once the neighbors get home.

Step 40: Wait for neighbors to return.

Step 41: Head over to neighbors house to apologize.

Step 42: Trudge home a bit hurt and confused after you aren't believed.

Step 43: Tell parents the result.

Step 44: Still get grounded.